Win an ESV study bible!

David Porter is giving away a free calfskin version of the new ESV Study Bible (about $240 value)! Isn't that exciting? Well, if you like, you can enter to win it. I obviously won't encourage you to enter (as it diminishes my chances), but I will commend his blog to you for your perusal. Click here to find out how you can win (or just to read his blog).

My Wife: Plunger-Queen

Our toilet gets plugged quite frequently. In the first three weeks we lived in this apartment we had to call a maintenance guy to come fix it twice.

I realized tonight that my wife is the plunger-queen. I plugged the toilet (those of you who knew me growing up will not be surprised), and I tried to plunge it, but it did not unplug the system. Then Elizabeth said, "Let me try." She did, and it was good as new in seconds.

So, here's to my wife, the plunger-queen.

Speedo Guy

Keith Green: Servant of the Living God

I'm a big Keith Green fan. I don't think he's generally considered "the norm" for what music my generation appreciates, but his lyrics blow me away (even the 50th or 60th time I hear/read/sing them), and when I hear him sing and play the piano (beautifully!) I can tell how much love he had for his Lord. In every song he sings it's as if he might never get a chance to sing it again.

Green was killed in a plane crash in 1982 at the age of just 28. I know it's probably not the most theologically responsible thing to assert (and I'm a seminary student to boot!), and I'm not sure where this idea came from, but I think someone suggested to me once that maybe Keith just longed to be with his heavenly father so much that God thought that was a good idea. You can read more about Keith Green and the ministries that have stemmed from his story here. I would also encourage you to Youtube some of his songs (or get them from iTunes or whatever, just listen to them).

And for those of you who have always wondered why my blog is called "Rushing Wind," I've reproduced Green's lyrics to one of my favorite songs.

Rushing wind blow through this temple

Blowing out the dust within

Come and breathe your breath upon me

I've been born again

Holy Spirit, I surrender

Take me where you want to go

Plant me by your living waters

Plant me deep so I can grow

Jesus, you're the one who set my spirit free

Use me, Lord, glorify your Holy name through me

Separate me from this world, Lord

Sanctify my life for you

Daily change me to your image

Help me bear good fruit

Every day your drawing closer

Trials come to test my faith

But when all is said and done, Lord

You know, it's been worth the wait

Jesus, you're the one who set my spirit free

Use me, Lord, glorify your Holy name through me

Rushing wind blow through this temple

Blowing out the dust within

Come and breathe your breath upon me

I've been born again

That nutty professor

I think the most comments I've ever had from a post was this one about my professor, Dr. Blomberg. So, for Pam who said she wanted me to keep you updated, I'm writing about him again. Before I get started, though, let me just say that for anyone looking for the most comprehensive yet easy-to-read introduction to the Gospels I've ever seen (and I work in a seminary bookstore for a living), read his Jesus and the Gospels.

Dr. Blomberg is hilarious. I've always known that, but it becomes clearer when you spend three hours with him each Thursday. He makes some of the cheesiest jokes, but they're fantastic... and he knows they're cheesy too.

He's also (as they might say in Boston) wicked smart. (I had a long story all ready to go here to demonstrate how smart he is, but I'll just summarize and say that he knows scripture like the back of his hand, and can catch people who cite it with even very subtle changes that change a text's meaning.) He also knows the answer to just about any Bible question you could ask. Today he said, "I don't know" about something, and I audibly gasped. Then he went on to give an explanation that demonstrated that he actually did know, he just apparently didn't know well enough for his own standards. The question was about Matthew 27 where some random saints and people are resurrected at Jesus' death and walk around and reveal themselves to some people (it's kind of an odd passage).

Anyway, I like him. He's funny and engaging in class, and he's an all-around good guy who not only knows more than everyone else, but also seems to walk the walk more than many too.

Pizza and donuts -- heavenly

Yesterday Elizabeth and I helped a friend move. For hours. He moved from the second floor of one apartment complex to the third floor of another one about 40 minutes away. So, we spent all of Sunday afternoon carrying heavy things up and down stairs. Today we've felt aches and pains all day long because of it.

But, we were well compensated. We got to eat pizza and donuts and drink gatorade and soda. That's my kind of food.

On another note, I read a note a friend posted on facebook recently that was called "You know you're from Iowa if..." The only one that really made me laugh was, "You can name all five seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction, and DAMN HOT! I'd say that's pretty accurate. It's entirely possible that one day I'll be living in Iowa again, and if that's true, I'm well aware that my mild Denver winters are going to be sorely missed. I haven't worn anything heavier than a spring jacket in over a month. Weathermen call it "bone-chilling" when the temperature is 35 or below. Our average highs are in the 40s, and it must have been 65 today. I know that this is nothing to brag about to my California-based readers, but for a 4-season kind of place at the foot of the Rockies, I've just come to realize that the climate here is much milder than most people think.

The Dentist

My whole life I've hated going to the dentist. I don't have particularly bad teeth, but every time I've ever been to the dentist it's absolute torture. The sounds of drills and metal rubbing against metal, of metal rubbing against teeth, the nasty smells of fluoride and sterility, and the dentists and their assistants who ask questions the whole time they're digging around in your mouth as if they truly want to make conversation, but who never take their hands out of your mouth so that you can actually answer them have always made me hypothesize that if hell were personalized for each person who ended up there, mine would surely be an eternal dentist's chair (good thing I'm not going to hell).

Then, when I was in high school I visited a new dentist, Dr. Mareno (I think that was her name). She was extremely pleasant. Her dentist's chair had a television on the ceiling that faced straight down so you could watch while they worked. They'd give you headphones, and place the tv's remote control in your hand so that you could choose your own distraction. I watched Seinfeld. The people who worked on you were also all very pleasant. They understood that it's impossible for me to answer questions verbally while my mouth is pried open wide, so after each question they asked, they'd pull their hands out and let you answer. They'd tell their own stories too (which makes much more sense than asking questions the whole time... it is possible to listen to stories with your mouth open).

But the best part about Dr. Mareno's office was the laughing gas. No kidding. They'd rest a little hose-like thing on my nose and pump nitrous oxide through it, and before long I was in a world of my own. I don't remember much about being under its influence. I remember that it felt like I watched 5 or 6 episodes of Seinfeld, but it was probably only one. I remember being completely oblivious to the pain that the dentist was inflicting on my mouth. And I remember feeling great. In fact, I remember the dentist asking me once, "Does this hurt too much?" and while I'm sure my actual answer was, "No," in my head I remember thinking, "I honestly don't care. I feel great." [I still can't say that this experience made me enjoy the dentist, but if you've got to go, Dr. Mareno was the closest thing to a good idea I've ever been part of.]

That story came to my mind when I watched this hilarious video of a little kid who is apparently "under the influence" of some very entertaining narcotic. Enjoy.

Jealous

My brother and sister-in-law are in California. I'm jealous of everyone involved. I'm jealous of mom and dad because they get to see Joel and Pam and Gabriel. I'm jealous of Joel and Pam and Gabriel because they get to see mom and dad and the foster boys, and presumably more of mom's side of the family too. And I'm jealous of all of them because they get to hang out at the beach.

Pam, my only consolation is the pictures and videos you post. You should feel free to include pictures and videos of you adults too, if you'd like. :)

my wife the goofball

*Disclaimer: This post is not as awkward or uncomfortable as the first few words might make you think.

Last night when Elizabeth and I were laying in bed, just getting ready to fall asleep, I tried to start a game of "footsie" with her (which I know she doesn't like).

Elizabeth: I'm gonna punch you. (15 seconds of silence... I think she's probably asleep, and then...) In case you die during the night, I don't want the last words I ever said to you to be "I'm gonna punch you," so... I love you!

Learn something new...

The Chicago Bears, Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, New York Giants, New York Jets, and Pittsburgh Steelers are all NFL teams that do NOT have official cheerleaders. I did not know that before today.

Cokesbury and Santos on abortion

There's a Christian bookstore near our home called Cokesbury. Once when we were driving past Elizabeth said, "Every time we pass that store I want cake." I was confused. I asked, "Cake?" She said, "Yeah, that store is called 'Cakesbury.'" I pointed out, "Actually, it's called 'Cokesbury.'" She said, "Oh... Every time we pass that store I want coke."

I laughed. hard.

P.S. Matt Santos' position on abortion is silly (Matt Santos is a character on The West Wing who runs for president as the democratic party's nominee). I used to think it wasn't so bad. Even though he's pro-choice, he says that abortion should be "...a whole lot rarer than it is now." I respected that. I didn't like the pro-choice stance, but was glad that he truly sounded like he'd like to reduce the number of them in the country. Last night when we watched that episode (and I don't know why it's taken me so long to realize this), it hit me that his position is pretty darn stupid. He believes that life begins at conception. He asserts that abortion is "a tragedy." Yet his political stance is that it should be safe and legal. If you think life begins at conception and that abortion is a tragedy, then you concede that it's basically the murder of a person who can't defend itself. Why IN THE WORLD could you believe that it should be legal? (For the record: Yes, I understand that the show is fictional, and that Matt Santos doesn't really exist. Still, I've heard Democrats who hold this same position, or positions very much like it. Plus, I like The West Wing and I get passionate about abortion, so I thought I'd share.)

Inventory and why retail probably isn't for me in the long run

Yesterday we were doing inventory at the bookstore where I work. We've had signs on the door since Monday indicating that we would close early on Thursday evening, and not open until 1 pm on Friday afternoon.

Someone on the facilities team at the seminary dropped the ball on their end, and the doors (which automatically lock and unlock, and cannot be controlled from the store itself) unlocked as usual at 8:30 yesterday morning, even though we were closed. I told my manager that we would have to do something to keep people from coming in. He thought that the original signs on both entrances (indicating that we were closed until 1) would be enough to keep people out.

By 9 am, he realized that he was wrong, and people obviously do NOT read signs at all, because we had probably a dozen people in that first half hour come into the store, and we had to explain to them that we were, in fact, closed for inventory. So a co-worker printed up new signs with big bold lettering that said, "PLEASE DO NOT ENTER. THE BOOKSTORE IS CLOSED FOR INVENTORY AND WILL REOPEN AT 1 PM." Surely, if placed at eye-level where the double-doors come together, people will notice this and stay out of the store. Within 10 seconds of the sign being posted (indeed, before my co-worker could even make his way around to the other entrance in order to not disturb the sign), a middle-aged woman came barging through the door.

Finally, we realized that a physical barrier was going to have to be put in place in order to keep people from entering the store. We have some stansions in the store (you know, those things like at the bank or the airport that direct where the line is supposed to go; the canvas strips that run between posts), so we ran a barrier in front of the front door. That was finally the thing that worked... sort of. There were still students that would get all the way to the door, try to open it, realize that in order to open the door they'd have to knock down our barrier, and THEN pause to read the TWO posted signs about why they couldn't get in.

One interesting thing to me was the reactions we got from people. When told we were closed, some students retorted, "Well, I'm just cutting through to get to the student center." "Oh!" I thought about saying, "Well, then in your case, we're not closed. We're open for people who are just cutting through, but if you're interested in buying anything, THEN we're closed." Other students would say, "Oh, well I just wanted to see if you have this certain book," or, "Oh, well I really need to buy this book this morning." In my mind (but not out loud) I thought, "Perhaps someone should explain to you what 'closed' means. When you go to a store that's 'closed,' you're not allowed to just look around. You're also not allowed to buy an item just by claiming that you really need it. 'Closed' means 'closed.' Not open to the public. Do you understand? Do I need to draw you a diagram? YOU'RE A GRADUATE STUDENT."

I think my favorite response was from the woman who barged in right after the really obvious sign was put up (and in case it wasn't properly explained, she basically had to rip the sign in two in order to get the front door open). A co-worker politely explained, "I'm sorry, we're actually closed right now for inventory, as the sign on the door says." The woman laughed and said, "Oh! I wondered what that sign was there for!" "Really?" I thought. "Did you really wonder? Apparently you wondered so much that you completely IGNORED that sign. There are about 15 words on it. It's a bright, clear, sunny day. I can see no visibility problems here. Apparently you DIDN'T wonder what the sign was there for, because it would have taken you about 1.5 seconds to read it. Then you wouldn't have practically ripped it off."

My wife and I talked at length about this phenomenon last night. What is it that keeps us from paying attention? Is it our culture? Are Americans too distracted, antsy, and self-centered to be aware of what's around them? There's a book called The Dumbest Generation. I don't remember who the author is, but I guess its premise is basically that since we are so reliant on technology today, we're dumber because we don't have to retain knowledge at all. We wondered that if the "DO NOT ENTER" sign had been on a large-screen television outside the store, would people have been more likely to notice it? No matter what the reasons behind ignoring the signs in the first place, I think I was most thrown by the huge collection of ridiculous responses we got when we told people we were closed. Baffling. Your thoughts?

25 Random Things About Me

Everyone else is doing it on Facebook. I rarely use Facebook, so I'm doing it here.

1.     My second-most embarrassing moment was when my family attended a church picnic at a park when I was probably 8 or 10 years old. The playground was down a big hill from the parking lot. When we parked, I saw friends down on the playground swinging on the swings, so I took off to join them. I didn’t realize that the pouring rain from the night before left the hill rather slippery… and muddy. I wiped out, and when I stood up I was a complete mudball. I was also really embarrassed.

2.     My first-most embarrassing moment happened in band class my junior year of high school. My older brother was a senior, and he’s very musically gifted, so the band director had him playing tuba (which is what I played) for a couple of songs, since I was the only other tuba player in the band. At a quiet point in the middle of rehearsal, Joel ripped maybe the hugest fart I’ve ever heard, and then immediately spun toward me and gasped, as if he couldn’t believe what I’d just done. By that point it was too late to deny my guilt, and the whole room fixed their eyes on me. I swore I’d never talk to Joel again, and so far I haven’t. (okay, that last part’s not true)

3.     My brothers and I completely made up at least a dozen games and sports over the course of our childhood including gutterball, bull, fumble, and tennis-home run derby. I’d be happy to explain the rules of any of these to you if you’d like.

4.     Although I love the game of baseball, nothing captures my interest like NFL football. I love to watch it, analyze it, talk about it, and do anything else you can do with it (I’d say “play it” except I don’t think I’d make the team).

5.     In #4 I should have said “nothing captures my interest like NFL football except the television show The West Wing. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and venture a guess that there are few, if any, people in the world that have watched that show as much as I have or know more about it than I do.

6.     When people break certain laws (going a few miles over the speed limit) it doesn’t bother me at all, but when they break laws that put the lives of others in grave danger (running red lights – which I see here in Denver at least once or twice a day) I get instantly livid. There’s very little that makes me as angry.

7.     I’d like to live in Iowa again someday.

8.     The Princess Bride is my all-time favorite movie. Tied for second are A Few Good Men, Good Will Hunting, and The Shawshank Redemption.

9.     As much as I love the movie The Princess Bride, the book is probably ten times as good. No joke. Read it. You’ll laugh your head off. I did literally. Luckily, I was able to reattach it without the help of doctors.

10.  I’ve been to six countries in my life, if you count a layover in Amsterdam, and if you also count California. The United States (duh), Canada (band trip, senior year of high school), Turkey (school trip, summer after my sophomore year in college), and Jamaica (missions trip, summer after my junior year in high school).

11.  My first car was a 1991 Pontiac Grand Am (red). I shared it with my brothers, and I wasn’t excited when we got it because I’d told my folks that my only vehicle preference was a four-door, and the Grand Am was a two-door. My older brother named it Jean Claude (as in Jean Claude Grand Am). He thought he was hilarious. When I took driver’s ed the car we drove was a red 1999 Grand Am (four-door). I loved it, and I vowed that someday I’d own one. Ironically enough, that’s the exact car I now drive, because I married a woman who owned one (don’t worry, there were other reasons why I married her). Other vehicles I’ve owned: 1988 Chevy Celebrity (turd-brown), 2006 Yamaha FZ-6 (motorcycle, blue), and a 1993 Mercury Cougar (silver).

12.  If money weren’t a factor, I’d spend my life traveling. There are about 500 places on my “places I’d like to visit” list. One thing I realistically hope to do at some point in my life is drive from Vancouver to San Diego down the Pacific Coast.

13.  I love BIG dogs, and I hope to own one someday. It’ll probably be a yellow lab or lab-retriever, but if it was entirely up to me, it’d be some kind of mastiff/saint bernard/great dane/german shepherd kind of mix (did I mention I like BIG dogs?)

14.  I have a crush on Judge Marilyn Milian from The People’s Court. I won’t elaborate.

15.  I don’t understand why Word 2007 (2008, if you’re a Mac user) saves things in the default format “.docx” instead of “.doc”. All it means is that if you don’t have the new software (which is itself really annoying) then you can’t open such documents.

16.  I think that Morgan Freeman has a fantastic narrator’s voice (see The Shawshank Redemption), but even that is not enough to save March of the Penguins. It’s a Discovery Channel documentary. That’s it. Why was it a glorified theater blockbuster? I don’t know.

17.  I once drove from Pella, IA to some little town in Missouri on a Tuesday night with my brother and his wife (though they weren’t yet married at the time) for supper.

18.  I doodle, and I doodle a LOT. My doodles almost entirely consist of symmetrical geometric shapes and patterns. Analyze that however you like.

19.  I prefer Letterman to Leno, but I think the funniest person on television just might be Ellen Degeneres.

20.  Even though Keith Green is not terribly popular with my generation, he is one of my favorite lyricists and singers ever.

21.  I swear more now that I’m a student at a conservative evangelical seminary than I ever did before I was one (but don’t worry, mom, it’s still not that much).

22.  I’m much better at owning, categorizing, organizing, and displaying my books than I am at reading them (and I owe my organizational style to Kim – but not the stuff about not reading my books).

23.  My wife and I frequently play Taboo together, but since it’s just the two of us, we obviously can’t buzz each other.

24.  Coupons are a way of life.

25.  And the number 25 random thing about me is… (drum roll please) actually, you have to wait for it until I stop working at my present place of employment, because as long as I work there, I can’t be completely honest about it. (sorry for the letdown)

The sad reality of seminary

I'm not trying to over-blog... but I just had to share this story.

A seminary friend of mine was sitting in a classroom about 10 minutes before class was to start. Another friend walked into the room and asked friend 1 what he was reading. Friend 1 said, "The Bible." Friend 2 replied, "For what class?"

I thought it was a funny story, but it's also a glimpse of seminary life. I would venture to guess that many, if not most, seminary students do a lot less "free reading" of the Bible while they're in seminary than when they're not.

Thesis ideas, anyone?

I'm taking a research methods class this semester where you learn how to do research in preparation for a Master's thesis. For the class, you basically pick a thesis topic and treat it like the real things as you put together bibliographies and do preliminary research. It is strongly encouraged to choose a topic that you actually will eventually use for your thesis, because otherwise all your work is for naught.

My problem is that I haven't chosen a thesis topic yet (an actual one) and it's just about time for me to be picking one for this class. I'd like it to be the topic I eventually actually write a thesis on. So... I'm looking for suggestions. I will be writing a thesis for an MA in Biblical Studies, with an emphasis on the New Testament, so my thesis topic HAS to deal primarily with some aspect of the New Testament text (in other words, I can't write primarily on Pauline theology, though I can certainly include that within the thesis, but I can write on Paul's use of "mystery" language or something like that). Anyone have any good ideas? Just for your information, I happen to have a personal interest in the synoptic gospels, and Mark's gospel in particular. I also have an interest in history, and in the writings of Josephus and the early church fathers. Obviously, the right topic probably can't include all of these, and your ideas don't have to include any of them, but I wanted you to have a little bit to work with as you start bombarding me with possible topics. :) Thanks

P.S. Someday I fully intend to write a lengthy essay incorporating my all-time favorite television show, The West Wing, into a discussion of Christianity and pop-culture. If I could do it for a Biblical studies thesis I would, but I can't, so I'll save it for later.

Looking for something cute?

LaCrosse

Last night I went to a LaCrosse game. The Colorado Mammoth took on the New York Titans at Denver's Pepsi Center. It was super fun. LaCrosse might be the only sport that I've never followed or played before that has a chance of winning me over some day. I don't mean that it'll ever be NFL-big for me, but I could see myself wanting to go to multiple games in a season, and learning the rules more closely, and getting excited if the Mammoth do well.

On the game program cover it says, "Mammoth LaCrosse. It's huge." I thought that was funny.