October 31, 2009

This Just In: Hate Crimes Legislation is Stupid

I hate Redskins fans. And guys who wear mullets. And annoying people who used to come into the store where I worked and say, do, or ask really stupid things. Fortunately, I can attack any of these groups of people without worrying about whether I'll be given a stiffer penalty, because none of those groups of people are mentioned in the hate crimes legislation that President Obama signed the other day. Lucky me! Of course, if I attacked a Redskins fan and then later found out he was gay (or had a mental disability, or was from Djibouti) then I'd be in big trouble, apparently.

My apologies to the parents of Matthew Shepherd, but the idea that we can legislate more severe penalties depending on what a criminal is thinking when he or she commits the crime couldn't be more ludicrous to me. The new hate crimes bill defines hate crimes as attacks which are "based on a person's race, color, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or mental or physical disability." That's great, but doesn't that list seem a little arbitrary? Who decided where the list ends and how did they decide it? What about a person's personality? Or clothing? Or favorite sports team? And how do you enforce it? I mean, if I attack a Hindu because he's Hindu, can't I just say that I did it because he cut me off in traffic? What if "hate" as defined in this bill is one of five reasons someone gets attacked? "I killed that guy because he's obnoxious, he smells funny, he only wears two different shirts in any given week, he's smarter than me... and he's hispanic." Is that a hate crime or not? Can it be counted as 1/5th of a hate crime? Let's say Joe Schmo gets tied to a fence post, has bottles and rocks thrown at his head, gets stripped naked and left for dead. Two weeks later the same thing happens to my brother. Should the criminals in case #2 be punished less than those in case #1 because Joe Schmo is gay? And isn't crime #2 a hate crime too, because after all, my brother has a race, color, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, AND gender identity (and maybe a mental disability... but HAHA, you don't know which brother I'm talking about!)?

If anyone is or would be willing to pretend to be a liberal, I'd appreciate hearing an argument in favor of such a ridiculous notion.

October 24, 2009

I'm very excited about this.

Ever since, well, just about forever (probably high school) I've wanted a decent leather coat. The problems over the years have been that stores don't sell the coat I'm looking for (button-down with a collar, and long in the torso). Seriously, for some reason zippers are apparently all the rage, because good button-down leather coats are surprisingly tough to come by. Then, if stores did have the "right" coat it cost some ridiculous amount of money in the hundreds. I've never spent more than thirty or forty bucks on a coat, and I really don't ever intend to... but that also means that a decent leather coat is out of the question.

Last year for Christmas my parents-in-law gave me a JCPenney giftcard. Somehow I promptly forgot about it until a couple of weeks ago. Today we went to Penney's with no real agenda. Both Elizabeth and I were on the lookout for anything we thought we could really use that was a good price. As we walked by the men's section I saw it. The coat I've been looking for for years. It was on sale. Elizabeth said she liked it (always the final step in any clothes-buying decision), no, LOVED it. We bought it... with money to spare. In fact, we even picked up a scarf for me to wear with it.

How do I look?

October 22, 2009

Photography

First it was Joel's fault, because apparently he's the one who chose the camera. Then it was Pam's fault, because she had to tell everyone about it. Then it was Joel's fault again because he provided some specifics. And now, most disappointingly, it's my fault because I can't stop thinking about photography and researching different cameras and picture-taking tips.

In college I took a photography class. It was great. I borrowed a friend's camera. I learned about aperture settings and depth-of-field and shutter speed and how to compose a photo and lots of other very cool stuff. For one semester it was a hobby... for which I got credit. Today I realized that maybe the biggest reason why I enjoy photography so much is because it's a very introverted activity. It can also be somewhat mentally challenging (depending on what/who/why you're taking pictures), and very creative. So I want to take up photography again. But, of course, I need a good camera. Looks like I'm now in saving mode too.

Hey Joel and Pam, when you get your camera, will you invite me over to look at it?

October 19, 2009

Advertisements

Sometimes while we're driving down the road Elizabeth will turn to me and say, "That billboard really worked on me." Usually what that means is, "Now I'm craving some chicken McNuggets," or some other food equally as tasty and unhealthy. The only time I got a bit nervous was when she said, "That billboard really worked on me," and I looked up to see a billboard advertising "Divorce in a day! Just $500!" I'm pretty sure she was looking at a different billboard (but she has been acting strange lately...).

On my way home from work this afternoon I ended up behind a truck that said, "Dr. Clutch, Your one-stop clutch and transmission shop!" After we'd hit about three stoplights I realized that Dr. Clutch was having a really hard time getting his truck going every time he'd come to a stop. It made me not want to call up Dr. Clutch next time my transmission is having issues.

That's about it.

October 15, 2009

Driscoll in the Washington Post

Here is an article in the Washington Post by Pastor Mark Driscoll that's worth the few minutes it'll take you to read it.

October 10, 2009

Another bookstore-related post

Last night I dreamed that I treated bookstore customers the way I've wished I could for two years. I don't think retail and/or customer service is the long-term career for me.

October 9, 2009

No longer a Bookstore employee

As of today I no longer work at the Denver Seminary Bookstore. This is the first time that's been true since the end of August, 2007. Over my 2+ years at the store I ran into a number of people and situations that I found irritating and/or funny. I've compiled a top ten list for my own amusement, but hopefully it'll amuse one or two of you as well.

*I apologize for the length of this post, and also for my often cynical attitude that tended to be evoked while working this customer-oriented job.

10. We once found that a leather bound NIV Study Bible had been stolen, and the thief had left his/her own leather bound KJV in the stolen Bible's box in its place. I guess if you leave an old Bible when you steal a new one, it doesn't weigh as heavily on the Christian conscience.

9. To the hundreds of you who have asked me over the last couple of years: No, we do not give discounts just because you're a pastor/graduate/parent of a student/Christian/church staffer/missionary/nurse/chaplain/friend of Dr. Blomberg.

8 The bookstore used to offer discounts to faculty, staff, students, and alumni, but a year and a half ago an outside company was brought in to run the store (the store was apparently not making money before the switch, due in part to all the discounts we offered). Still, after a year and a half of not giving those discounts I consistently hear, "But you used to give discounts!" It makes me want to say, "Yeah, and eggs used to cost a dime a dozen, and I used to weigh a lot less. What else happened a long time ago?"

7. In the weeks prior to the beginning of each semester we put barricades (like those used to form lines at the bank or the airport) around our textbook section in order to keep people out while we stock the shelves (another reason is to minimize the students who come in three weeks before classes start in order to right down titles and ISBNs so they can purchase books on Amazon, which isn't a despicable practice, but it's not in the interest of the store to do Amazon's customer service for them). When the barricades are in place there are signs everywhere explaining that we're still stocking the shelves and that people aren't allowed back there, and that if they need a book they can ask the staff and we'll pull anything you need for you. Still, I watched people every day stop at the barricades, read the signs, and then go around the barricades into the text section to see what they needed. (I should also mention that all of the class book lists are also available online.)

6. You wouldn't believe the number of times I've been told that I should extend a discount to someone because they can get their book cheaper on Amazon. If I can get something cheaper across the street, I go across the street. I don't expect the more expensive place to lower its price. Look, it's not my fault that you waited until 5:45 p.m. on the day before your 18-page paper is due to decide that you should probably buy that book that takes two weeks to ship to you from Amazon. That's your own problem.

5. In addition to ignoring barricades and posted signs about the barricades, tons of people ignore other posted notices, such as return policies (which also gets stapled to your receipt, so please do NOT try to convince me that it's my fault you didn't know about the policy).

4. On more than one occasion, after closing the store, shutting down computers, and turning off lights, I had people who would spot me inside the store and call me over to the door, and try desperately to convince me to let them in. One particular time I'd been closed for more than fifteen minutes. The most common story I hear? "But I drove over an hour to get here!" Wow, really? And you didn't check to make sure the store would be open when you arrived? I feel for you. I really do. But it's not possible to re-open the store to sell you a book. The library's next door. Good luck.

3. The store's doors are on an automatic timed locking system. After hearing the doors click locked at closing time I turned off the lights and headed to the back room for some closing procedures. One of the front doors had apparently stuck and not completely closed, because about ten minutes later as I was leaving I walked up to the front of the store to find a gentleman browsing in complete darkness. He told me he "didn't realize" we were closed. It was pitch black. I understand that if the door's open you might step in, but when you see that it's completely dark and you can't even read the titles of the books on the shelf, wouldn't you find someone to at least ask whether or not they're open?

2. One of our entrance doors has a turnable handle, but the handle part of the door stays locked at all times. Still, being on a timer lock, if we're open the door will open when you push on it. Countless times I've been asked, "Are you open? The door is locked," as they walk through the door and into the store. By definition, if a door is locked it doesn't just open so you can walk through it. Promise.

1. This one could technically fit under #5 because it's about ignoring a posted notice, but this one I just couldn't believe, and it deserves it's own number. We were closed for inventory one morning, but those in charge of changing our automatic timer locks had had some communication mix-up, so our doors were unlocked. We set up some of our aforementioned barricades and posted signs on all of the doors that said, "Closed for inventory. Will reopen at 1 p.m." People still came in all morning long. As they did we'd say, "I'm sorry, we're actually closed right now." More often than not the response we got was either, "Well I'm just cutting through," or "Well I just needed to check to see if you have a book I need." This is a graduate school. Do you understand what "closed" means? It means you can't just cut through, and you can't check to see what books we've got. We're CLOSED. My favorite one was when my coworker placed one of the signs on the seam of the double doors out front so that it would be impossible to open the doors without seeing the sign and ripping it in half. Before my coworker made it around to our other entrance a woman went around the barricades and ripped the sign in half as she opened the front door and came in. "I'm sorry, we're closed right now, which is why we had that sign on the door." She responded, "Oh, I WONDERED what that sign was for!" In my head: "Really? Did you really wonder? Well the sign has about eight words on it. There are two lines. You're in graduate school. As a student here you're assigned hundreds of pages of difficult reading every week. If you really wondered about that sign, you likely would have spent the 0.24 seconds to read it. Get out of this store."

October 8, 2009

Crazy Guys

This afternoon I got this week's Sports Illustrated in the mail. Listed under "What Smart Fans Should Do This Week," they mentioned this website, dudeperfect.com, where this group of college guys apparently spend their free time perfecting ridiculous trick basketball shots, and filming them. So I went to the website. Turns out they really do make some ridiculous trick basketball shots. After watching their videos I clicked "About Us" where I learned that these guys use the money they make from the popularity of their youtube videos to support children through Compassion International. They're a group of Christian guys who remind me what it was like to be in college and end up doing stupid random things that end up being super fun and/or funny. Here's a video to introduce you to these guys, but check out their website and their youtube channel for more.

October 7, 2009