Another bookstore-related post

Last night I dreamed that I treated bookstore customers the way I've wished I could for two years. I don't think retail and/or customer service is the long-term career for me.

No longer a Bookstore employee

As of today I no longer work at the Denver Seminary Bookstore. This is the first time that's been true since the end of August, 2007. Over my 2+ years at the store I ran into a number of people and situations that I found irritating and/or funny. I've compiled a top ten list for my own amusement, but hopefully it'll amuse one or two of you as well.

*I apologize for the length of this post, and also for my often cynical attitude that tended to be evoked while working this customer-oriented job.

10. We once found that a leather bound NIV Study Bible had been stolen, and the thief had left his/her own leather bound KJV in the stolen Bible's box in its place. I guess if you leave an old Bible when you steal a new one, it doesn't weigh as heavily on the Christian conscience.

9. To the hundreds of you who have asked me over the last couple of years: No, we do not give discounts just because you're a pastor/graduate/parent of a student/Christian/church staffer/missionary/nurse/chaplain/friend of Dr. Blomberg.

8 The bookstore used to offer discounts to faculty, staff, students, and alumni, but a year and a half ago an outside company was brought in to run the store (the store was apparently not making money before the switch, due in part to all the discounts we offered). Still, after a year and a half of not giving those discounts I consistently hear, "But you used to give discounts!" It makes me want to say, "Yeah, and eggs used to cost a dime a dozen, and I used to weigh a lot less. What else happened a long time ago?"

7. In the weeks prior to the beginning of each semester we put barricades (like those used to form lines at the bank or the airport) around our textbook section in order to keep people out while we stock the shelves (another reason is to minimize the students who come in three weeks before classes start in order to right down titles and ISBNs so they can purchase books on Amazon, which isn't a despicable practice, but it's not in the interest of the store to do Amazon's customer service for them). When the barricades are in place there are signs everywhere explaining that we're still stocking the shelves and that people aren't allowed back there, and that if they need a book they can ask the staff and we'll pull anything you need for you. Still, I watched people every day stop at the barricades, read the signs, and then go around the barricades into the text section to see what they needed. (I should also mention that all of the class book lists are also available online.)

6. You wouldn't believe the number of times I've been told that I should extend a discount to someone because they can get their book cheaper on Amazon. If I can get something cheaper across the street, I go across the street. I don't expect the more expensive place to lower its price. Look, it's not my fault that you waited until 5:45 p.m. on the day before your 18-page paper is due to decide that you should probably buy that book that takes two weeks to ship to you from Amazon. That's your own problem.

5. In addition to ignoring barricades and posted signs about the barricades, tons of people ignore other posted notices, such as return policies (which also gets stapled to your receipt, so please do NOT try to convince me that it's my fault you didn't know about the policy).

4. On more than one occasion, after closing the store, shutting down computers, and turning off lights, I had people who would spot me inside the store and call me over to the door, and try desperately to convince me to let them in. One particular time I'd been closed for more than fifteen minutes. The most common story I hear? "But I drove over an hour to get here!" Wow, really? And you didn't check to make sure the store would be open when you arrived? I feel for you. I really do. But it's not possible to re-open the store to sell you a book. The library's next door. Good luck.

3. The store's doors are on an automatic timed locking system. After hearing the doors click locked at closing time I turned off the lights and headed to the back room for some closing procedures. One of the front doors had apparently stuck and not completely closed, because about ten minutes later as I was leaving I walked up to the front of the store to find a gentleman browsing in complete darkness. He told me he "didn't realize" we were closed. It was pitch black. I understand that if the door's open you might step in, but when you see that it's completely dark and you can't even read the titles of the books on the shelf, wouldn't you find someone to at least ask whether or not they're open?

2. One of our entrance doors has a turnable handle, but the handle part of the door stays locked at all times. Still, being on a timer lock, if we're open the door will open when you push on it. Countless times I've been asked, "Are you open? The door is locked," as they walk through the door and into the store. By definition, if a door is locked it doesn't just open so you can walk through it. Promise.

1. This one could technically fit under #5 because it's about ignoring a posted notice, but this one I just couldn't believe, and it deserves it's own number. We were closed for inventory one morning, but those in charge of changing our automatic timer locks had had some communication mix-up, so our doors were unlocked. We set up some of our aforementioned barricades and posted signs on all of the doors that said, "Closed for inventory. Will reopen at 1 p.m." People still came in all morning long. As they did we'd say, "I'm sorry, we're actually closed right now." More often than not the response we got was either, "Well I'm just cutting through," or "Well I just needed to check to see if you have a book I need." This is a graduate school. Do you understand what "closed" means? It means you can't just cut through, and you can't check to see what books we've got. We're CLOSED. My favorite one was when my coworker placed one of the signs on the seam of the double doors out front so that it would be impossible to open the doors without seeing the sign and ripping it in half. Before my coworker made it around to our other entrance a woman went around the barricades and ripped the sign in half as she opened the front door and came in. "I'm sorry, we're closed right now, which is why we had that sign on the door." She responded, "Oh, I WONDERED what that sign was for!" In my head: "Really? Did you really wonder? Well the sign has about eight words on it. There are two lines. You're in graduate school. As a student here you're assigned hundreds of pages of difficult reading every week. If you really wondered about that sign, you likely would have spent the 0.24 seconds to read it. Get out of this store."

Inventory and why retail probably isn't for me in the long run

Yesterday we were doing inventory at the bookstore where I work. We've had signs on the door since Monday indicating that we would close early on Thursday evening, and not open until 1 pm on Friday afternoon.

Someone on the facilities team at the seminary dropped the ball on their end, and the doors (which automatically lock and unlock, and cannot be controlled from the store itself) unlocked as usual at 8:30 yesterday morning, even though we were closed. I told my manager that we would have to do something to keep people from coming in. He thought that the original signs on both entrances (indicating that we were closed until 1) would be enough to keep people out.

By 9 am, he realized that he was wrong, and people obviously do NOT read signs at all, because we had probably a dozen people in that first half hour come into the store, and we had to explain to them that we were, in fact, closed for inventory. So a co-worker printed up new signs with big bold lettering that said, "PLEASE DO NOT ENTER. THE BOOKSTORE IS CLOSED FOR INVENTORY AND WILL REOPEN AT 1 PM." Surely, if placed at eye-level where the double-doors come together, people will notice this and stay out of the store. Within 10 seconds of the sign being posted (indeed, before my co-worker could even make his way around to the other entrance in order to not disturb the sign), a middle-aged woman came barging through the door.

Finally, we realized that a physical barrier was going to have to be put in place in order to keep people from entering the store. We have some stansions in the store (you know, those things like at the bank or the airport that direct where the line is supposed to go; the canvas strips that run between posts), so we ran a barrier in front of the front door. That was finally the thing that worked... sort of. There were still students that would get all the way to the door, try to open it, realize that in order to open the door they'd have to knock down our barrier, and THEN pause to read the TWO posted signs about why they couldn't get in.

One interesting thing to me was the reactions we got from people. When told we were closed, some students retorted, "Well, I'm just cutting through to get to the student center." "Oh!" I thought about saying, "Well, then in your case, we're not closed. We're open for people who are just cutting through, but if you're interested in buying anything, THEN we're closed." Other students would say, "Oh, well I just wanted to see if you have this certain book," or, "Oh, well I really need to buy this book this morning." In my mind (but not out loud) I thought, "Perhaps someone should explain to you what 'closed' means. When you go to a store that's 'closed,' you're not allowed to just look around. You're also not allowed to buy an item just by claiming that you really need it. 'Closed' means 'closed.' Not open to the public. Do you understand? Do I need to draw you a diagram? YOU'RE A GRADUATE STUDENT."

I think my favorite response was from the woman who barged in right after the really obvious sign was put up (and in case it wasn't properly explained, she basically had to rip the sign in two in order to get the front door open). A co-worker politely explained, "I'm sorry, we're actually closed right now for inventory, as the sign on the door says." The woman laughed and said, "Oh! I wondered what that sign was there for!" "Really?" I thought. "Did you really wonder? Apparently you wondered so much that you completely IGNORED that sign. There are about 15 words on it. It's a bright, clear, sunny day. I can see no visibility problems here. Apparently you DIDN'T wonder what the sign was there for, because it would have taken you about 1.5 seconds to read it. Then you wouldn't have practically ripped it off."

My wife and I talked at length about this phenomenon last night. What is it that keeps us from paying attention? Is it our culture? Are Americans too distracted, antsy, and self-centered to be aware of what's around them? There's a book called The Dumbest Generation. I don't remember who the author is, but I guess its premise is basically that since we are so reliant on technology today, we're dumber because we don't have to retain knowledge at all. We wondered that if the "DO NOT ENTER" sign had been on a large-screen television outside the store, would people have been more likely to notice it? No matter what the reasons behind ignoring the signs in the first place, I think I was most thrown by the huge collection of ridiculous responses we got when we told people we were closed. Baffling. Your thoughts?

Robots

I spent a significant amount of time on the phone with publishing companies today for my job, and "on the phone" means listening to holding music and stupid automated robots.

On one particular call I sat there on hold for about 15 straight minutes (I was also the only worker on the floor of the bookstore during that time... it was fairly slow for awhile) and the singing German choir on the other end was periodically interrupted so that some mechanical woman could say, "We know your time is valuable. Please stay on the line and the next available customer service representative will be with you shortly."

I think these companies should be honest. I'd like a publisher much more if the automated voice said what they really meant: "We know your time is valuable, but we obviously don't care that much, and we'll make you wait for as long as it takes for one of our reps to get back from their coffee-and-a-donut break. Keep your shirt on."

Grace

(for the record, my wife agrees with my "busy bees" post below)

I'm reading a book by Philip Yancey called What's So Amazing About Grace? because I tend to get very irritated with people very easily. I get mad when I'm driving because most people are terrible at driving -- and it's not that difficult of an activity. I get mad at work because most people lack either common sense or a sense of decency (and the problem is exacerbated by the fact that I have a higher standard for the students, faculty and staff who most frequently visit the bookstore, and who are surprisingly inconsiderate), or both. I get mad at the store because I tend to a) know exactly what I need and where to find it, eliminating the need to lolly-gag in the aisles, and b) be considerate enough to make every reasonable effort to stand off to the side out of the way when I need to take time for decision-making or consulting my wife.

Having said all of that, I'm working really hard this semester on seeing people through the eyes of Jesus; as creatures molded by God who he loves very much. I'm not that great at it yet. People still tick me off.

Summer

This summer has somehow become as busy as the school year for me.  I didn't know that could happen.

I also wanted to say that I miss my friends.

And if you want to read an entertaining and funny book with what's left of your summer, try The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs.

Bookstore an' more

I like it when my friends post new blogs every now and then, because it helps remind me that I have one too.  It also makes me feel bad for the millions of readers who every day hope to find a new blog post here at "Make My Life A Prayer to You" and are almost always let down.

The transition at the bookstore doesn't seem as bad, looking back, as it did at the time.  It was a tough week, no doubt, but now things are going pretty smoothly with the new folks.  The Denver Seminary Bookstore has always been a really great relational place, where knowing customers by name and discussing theology and having good conversation were prized above all else.  Our new management is done by a secular company, so naturally the goal is now more about making money than making relationships.  The biggest fear that I (and my fellow seminarians) had was that this new company would bring in Thomas Kinkade paintings and Precious Moments figurines and "Jesus Loves You" bumper stickers and cross pendant necklaces, turning it into a Christian trinket store rather than a seminary bookstore.  Today my fears were realized, though in a less terrible way than I thought they'd be.  The corporate office has ordered and sent us a good chunk of those kinds of items ("Christian crap," I've heard it called), but it seems like we'll be able to basically tell them that those aren't the kinds of items we want to sell in our store.  If all goes well (and it seems like it might), this will be the last order of its kind.  I feel like I'm really having to step up and  start becoming more aware of new books that are coming out that would sell in our store, so I can inform my manager and, in turn, the corporate office, so that we can continue to provide the wonderful selection that we always have.  The new owners don't know much about theologies and Bible handbooks and systematics, and they've never heard of Bruce Waltke, Mark Driscoll, Rob Bell, Wayne Grudem, John Calvin, Bill Mounce, D.A. Carson, Ben Witherington, N.T. Wright, or Tremper Longman.  Therefore, I'm working extra hard to educate my manager in the "ways of a seminary bookstore."

(note: It's perfectly acceptable not to know who those people are... but if you're going to own and operate an evangelical seminary's bookstore, you should start learning about them.)

In other news, Elizabeth and I are going to be making a trip to Iowa next weekend, and we're STOKED about it.  We're going to get to hang out with our 8-month old nephew who is way cuter than any baby you're related to.  This will only be the third time in his life we've been able to see him.  The first time lasted about 90 minutes, and the second time was for about two days... and he spent 90% of them crying or sleeping.  We haven't seen Joel and Pam since New Year's, and we miss 'em!

Unsettled

I'm not really looking forward to the next couple of days.

The bookstore where I work is coming under new management/ownership in a couple of days. I feel very unsettled about the whole thing.  I personally have a lot of things I need to finish up at the store before I'm really ready for the "transition."  The new folks aren't supposed to be here until Wednesday, but I found out on Friday that they'll be in on Monday and Tuesday doing some preliminary work too, so now I don't know if I'm going to have the time I need to get things straightened up.  On top of all that, I have a ton of questions that have not yet been answered, because communication from those who know the answers has been severely lacking in recent weeks.  I feel jerked around both by my current employer, and the folks that are "taking over" and will be my new employer, because nobody has been upfront and open about sharing information with me or my coworkers.  At a time when my wife and I have almost no money and we're trying to survive the summer, it'd be really nice to feel some security and peace in my job, and I don't.  It's terribly frustrating and I wish I could skip ahead a couple of weeks so I'd know what my job will look like in the near future.

In other news, we watched a really great episode of The Cosby Show today when we got home from church, which made me feel good.  Church this morning was refreshing too, because I was able to chat with some folks that I hadn't seen in awhile.  And our senior pastor was back in the pulpit after a couple of weeks off, which is always good.