March 28, 2010

The phenomenon of time zones

This is blowing my mind a little bit, and so I want to share:

There were two babies I know of that were born at the end of last week. Tobiah was born on Friday morning at around 6:45 am. Andrew was born Thursday night around 11:30 pm. But Tobiah is older. How is this possible?

Tobiah was born to a couple of friends of ours who are currently doing missions work in China, so when he was born on Friday, March 26 at 6:45 am, it was sometime in the afternoon of Thursday, March 25 here in Denver. Andrew was born in Denver later Thursday night. Therefore, Tobiah's birthday will, I assume, always be recognized as March 26, but he is older by a few hours than Andrew, who's birthday is March 25. I think it'd be weird if they grew up and became friends and told people their birthdates but that Tobiah was older. It'd confuse people for sure.

March 26, 2010

Story

Once upon a time there was a monkey-boy named Arnold. Arnold loved to run, bike, and swim. "I think I want to compete in a triathlon," Arnold said one day. So he began looking for a triathlon he could enter.

It didn't take long for Arnold to realize that monkey-boys weren't allowed to compete in any of the major triathlons. In fact, after a week of searching high and low for any triathlon willing to accept him as a competitor, Arnold was at his breaking point. "Why can't I compete in a triathlon?" he wailed. "I love to run, bike, and swim! A triathlon would be PERFECT!"

Arnold cried and cried for almost a month before he got a very odd phone call. "Stop crying," said the voice on the other end. "I know of a triathlon that will accept monkey-boys, but if you want to compete in it you have to do exactly as I say."
"I'll do anything," bawled Arnold.
"Take the number twelve bus to Pikawhanna Avenue on the north side of town," said the mysterious voice. "Then walk five blocks west until you come to Mr. Jimbob's Shrimp Shack. Tell the woman at the counter that you've come to see Gerald McManusMcGillicuddy Franklinsville. She'll tell you what to do next." Click. The voice had hung up.

Arnold didn't know what to do. He hadn't had time to grab a pen and paper while the voice was giving instructions, and he didn't think he could remember everything. But he was going to try. He drove to the Franklinsville exit and turned north by the Long John Silver's, then he took the number five bus twelve blocks to Gerald Avenue. Once there, he couldn't remember anymore instructions.

"Oh well," he thought, "maybe fate just doesn't want this monkey-boy to run in a triathlon.

THE END

March 23, 2010

Important

A new blog, that you do NOT want to miss out on, has begun. You can find it HERE. If you think that Joel and Jaron and Jase and I are silly individually, just wait until you see how amazingly awesome we are when we blog in ONE PLACE about Rohde-related things.

(I'm egotistical, so I launched it on my birthday.)

March 22, 2010

TWEET TWEET TWEET

I'm pretty sure that most of you are not active twitter users, but I wanted to let you in on my three favorite tweeters (people who tweet... I assume they're called tweeters). They are, in no particular order:

@Bathroom_Reader -- the official tweets from the folks who write the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader books. There's no easier way to be informed of interesting (though admittedly largely pointless) trivia than following them on twitter. Some of their recent tweets:
"Washington, D.C., has one lawyer for every 19 residents."
"A coffee tree yields only about a pound of coffee each year."
"Frightening fact: Phobatrivaphobia is a fear of trivia about phobias."
(Regarding that last one, I wouldn't be surprised if most of the Lang family suffers from Phobatrivaphobia. They seem to be afraid of most everything that doesn't make sense! Oh, SNAP!)

@prodigaljohn -- John Acuff, author of the Stuff Christians Like blog that inspired the book Stuff Christians Like (being released, like, now, I think). He's really, really funny. A few of his tweets:
"When I hear QT gas station ads that offer food made 'fresh in QT kitchens,' my stomach says 'Don't even think about it'"
"Someone on Amazon is selling used SCL book for $17. New is $9. It's less of a book & more of an investment opportunity http://bit.ly/bJ8vIu"
"My wife is out of town. Under my watch, my 6yr old may or may not have colored part of the 4yr old's hair pink."

@JohnPiper -- John Piper. He's a very influential pastor and author, and his tweets are jam-packed with fantastic biblical reflection. Even if you've been a Christian for years, or you're a pastor, or you've been to seminary, there's good stuff to be had with Dr. Piper's tweets. Here are a few:
"The most prostitued kiss ever. "The one I kiss is the man; seize him" (Matthew 26: 48)"
"In order to spend an hour in prayer asking God to do things in the world, you need an hour's worth of longings for the world."
"Where can I safely pour out my heart: “Pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.” (Psalms 62:8)."

There you have it. Probably my three favorite twitterers. Tweeters. People who tweet on twitter.

March 19, 2010

Delilah

Thanks, Leah, for pointing this out on your blog. For awhile I've really enjoyed the song, "Hey there Delilah" and I thought it'd be funny to write a spoof about the Samson & Delilah story. I didn't know that one existed!

March 18, 2010

Things I...

These lists aren't exhaustive by any means. I've left off many of the more obvious (I love my wife, I hate the Washington Redskins) and focused more on the "you might not know..." category.

Things I LOVE
Whitey's ice cream
The smell of a rainstorm (as Gerbert might say, "It's like the world just took a great big bubble bath!")
Clean stand-up comedy (harder and harder to come by)
Seeing a good movie at the theater with a bucket of popcorn in my lap
Playing with little people I'm related to (I'm thinking specifically of my nephews and my under-15-years-old siblings)
Hanging out with my family
The Far Side (comic strip)
New insights and understandings about the Bible and the Christian life
Listening to good music
Singing good music
Viewing live on-stage musicals and plays (!!!)
Rain
Coffee

Things I HATE
Lolly-gagging at the grocery store (or any store)
Drivers who put the safety of others in jeopardy
Dentist visits
Adults who can't be bothered to pick up after themselves
Being on-call for anything
Huge snowstorms (I don't mind having snow on the ground, but 12-inch DUMPS that alter every plan you could possibly have are annoying)

Things I DON'T UNDERSTAND
Perfectly healthy, physically able people who use the automatic door-opening button intended for use only by the disabled.
Why can't everyone be an analytic learner like me? Thousands of arguments would be avoided (and no one would ever discover anything new again...).
People who claim to LOVE pizza and then leave their crust laying all over the plate. The single most important determiner of how good a pizza is is its crust. Eat it! Or give it to me! Don't just lay it there on your plate until you throw it away.
Saying, "We need the moisture" in reference to huge snowstorms that are about to hit our city in February. I grew up in Iowa. I totally understand "we need the rain" comments, because the state pretty much exists because of corn and soybeans. What does "we need the moisture" mean in February? Who's got crops that are going to dry out in Denver if we don't have a blizzard every couple of weeks? And don't tell me "Skiers need the snow." It can snow in the mountains without touching Denver. Plus, the fabulous computer-minds of humans have developed machines that generate their own snow.

Things I WANT
A bicycle
A motorcycle (I promise, I'll break the two-wheeled vehicles streak soon)
A tripod for my camera
A carrying case for my camera
A solid wood Louisville Slugger baseball bat (don't even ask why)

Frustrating

What's frustrating about Denver weather is that you can ALWAYS count on a major huge snowstorm in March. What's more frustrating is that this year's is choosing to come on the very day my family is supposed to be traveling through town on their way back home to California. It's going to be a 24-hour storm that just might re-route my family and make it so that I don't get to see them tomorrow night.

March 16, 2010

Iowa trip, briefly

We went to Iowa last week. We were there from Wednesday evening through Sunday morning, and we didn't see the sun once. It was okay, though. It wasn't THAT cold, and it never really rained on us, it was just foggy and sometimes misty and VERY wet because of the buckets and buckets of melting snow.

It was a fabulous trip, but quite busy. We got to see my whole family. Elizabeth's parents took time off work to come to Ames and hang out with us for an afternoon too. Her brother Clay hosted us for three nights and he was far more gracious than he needed to be.

Oh, and on Saturday night, Jase and Rachel got married.

CLICK HERE to see a facebook photo album from our trip.

March 9, 2010

Census

I have no problem with the census. I'm happy to fill out my little form and mail it in so the government can make sure Colorado has the right number of congressmen.

But today in the mail I got a letter from the Census Bureau. It wasn't the Census. It was a one-page letter that said, essentially, "Keep a look out for the actual Census which you'll receive in about a week."

How much do you think it cost our government to send these out? How necessary are they? Do you really need to prepare yourself a week in advance to check your mail? Or to answer a few questions on a form? Isn't it insulting that the government thinks so lowly of its citizens? Bah!

March 8, 2010

Drugs and Booze

On my way to work each morning I pass a medical marijuana place right across the street from a home-brewing supply store. I call it "Sinner's Row."


(I don't really call it that. I was making a joke.)

March 7, 2010

pods

"Pod" and "ped" are confusing little sets of letters. They often have to do with feet. A biped is a two-footed animal. A podiatrist is a foot doctor. A tripod is a three-legged object used to support something. The pedals on your bike are where your feet go.

But sometimes they don't have anything to do with feet. A pediatrician is a children's doctor (whether the child has feet or not). A pod is what peas come in. Pedantic means academic (sort of).

So what's the deal?

March 6, 2010

pants

I don't ever wear dress pants. Like, ever. But I own two pairs of black dress pants. I haven't put either of them on in probably well over a year. When I think of dress pants I usually think, "None of mine fit me," because I don't remember being comfortable in dress pants since my Aunt Misty's wedding which was sometime in the mid-1980s... and I don't actually remember that, but I'm sure I was comfortable because the pictures of me from that wedding are so gosh-darn cute.

Anyway, my little brother (I should say, my younger brother) is getting married in a week and I'm supposed to wear black dress pants to the wedding. I tried on the two pairs I own today... and they both fit quite well. So I'm excited.

(Yes, you read that correctly. This is an entire blog post on me having two pairs of black dress pants that fit nicely.)

March 5, 2010

YAY!

Family's here! We love it when stuff like this happens. Mom, Dad, Jaron, and the five younger kids have all stopped off here to hang out with us for a few hours while they refresh themselves from a long day and night of driving, as they prepare for another long night of driving.

It's really wonderful having them all here, but it always ends up being a challenge too. Our little one-bedroom place isn't fit for 10 people. We grilled burgers, hot dogs, and italian sausages for supper. It was all really really tasty (I was quite proud of my grilling-for-a-huge-group-of-people skills). It was also really fun to do. I like being able to prepare meals for my family... but as I shared with my parents tonight, it's sort of like going through a tornado. There's some normal preparation work, and then when things start coming off the grill it's complete chaos for about 10 minutes while the food hits the table and all the kids need a hot dog, a hamburger, ketchup/mustard, apple juice, silverware, corn, and whatever else it takes to eat their meal. Then as quickly as it started, it's over, and there's a huge mess to clean up (and if they're lucky, adults get to eat). I know that this is nothing new, and all of you with kids probably think I'm a moron for thinking this is a topic worthy of blogging about, but it is, so back off. My blog. Not yours.

March 2, 2010

marching

Do you realize it's March? It kinda snuck up on me. March is a good month because it starts to get warm again. And because both Elizabeth and I have birthdays this month. And Spring Break always comes in March. And Jase and Rachel are getting married (which doesn't happen every March, but it's happening during this one).

Happy March to all.

Bathroom material

As some of you may know, I've been trying to start a collection of the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader books for some time now. For my past couple of birthdays I've received Uncle John's Bathroom Reader puzzle books as gifts, which are fabulous. This past Christmas I received my very first conventional (if you can call them that) Bathroom Reader from my wife. I read it straight through (I'm not much for reading on the pot, to be honest). It was fabulous. Still, I feel like my "collection" is rather dismal, considering I have just one book and two puzzle books from the series (they've got dozens of them).

Anyway, all that to say this: The Bathroom Reader website is giving away one of their books (winner's choice) HERE. There are 7 different ways to enter to win, if you're so inclined... but if you enter this contest and win a Bathroom Reader all because you read about it here on MY blog, I hope you would consider donating your winnings to my library after you've read it yourself.

March 1, 2010

Nothing special to report

I watched olympic hockey yesterday. I'm no hockey fan, but it was a great game. Canada beat Team USA in overtime of the gold medal game. Again, I don't know much about the sport, but I'm pretty sure that a silver medal is still pretty good for the US, and it was fairly clear that the better team won the gold. Congratulations to the home team Canadians.

Elizabeth and I bought The Little Rascals on DVD yesterday too. It was in the $5 bin at the store. I had a coupon from my Christmas Coupon Book that she gave me for Christmas that was good for one $5 item of my choice at the store. We both decided The Little Rascals was worth $5. We haven't watched it yet, though, because we've played the free Redbox game two nights in a row now. Last night we watched Imagine That with Eddie Murphy (well, we didn't watch the movie with Eddie Murphy, he just stars in the movie itself). It was cute. We enjoyed it. Tonight we watched Couples Retreat starring Vince Vaughn. It definitely had its sexually inappropriate moments, but it was cleaner than I had anticipated. It wasn't anything super special either, but worth watching (for free).

(The above is what happens when it's bedtime but your wife says, "Babe, you should blog.")