A birthday post and its translation into another language

A came across THIS tool the other day, which takes a chunk of text you've written and translates it into "12-year-old on AOL" language. So, below is a birthday blog post, and underneath that I've included the "translated" version (in blue).

Elizabeth had a birthday last week. We celebrated by going to a "dueling pianos" bar. It was the first time either of us had ever been to such a place. As it turns out, "dueling pianos" is code for "there are two pianos on the stage and two guys play together while singing all different songs and taking requests." In other words, there was no real "dueling" at all. It was still fun, though! We enjoyed ourselves.

A couple of nights later we enjoyed an evening out with some friends we really love. We went to Red Robin. If you register one of their loyalty cards you're given a free appetizer (of the 11 people in our group, I think 8 of us had loyalty cards and ordered free appetizers). Our waitress was fabulous. Since Elizabeth and I are cheap, we ONLY ordered appetizers and ate them as our meal.

This week I had a birthday. We went BACK to Red Robin, and we both used our "free birthday burger," also available when you register a loyalty card. So, for the second time in 6 days, we got to eat at Red Robin and pay only for our server's tip. In addition, on my birthday we had free breakfast from Chick-Fil-A (they're offering a free breakfast entree every Wednesday during the month of March). I also used a coupon from Caribou Coffee to get a free birthday drink.

We basically use our birthdays as a way to eke out every free item we can possibly get. Fun, huh?

12-year-old-AOLer version of the above blog post:



3LIZAEBTH HAD A BIRTHDAY LAST WEK!!1!! WTF LOL WE CALABRAETD BY GONG 2 A DUALNG PIANOS BAR!11!!1!1 OMG WTF IT WAS TEH FIRST TIEM 3ITHER OF US HAD EVER BAN 2 SUCH A PLAEC!1!1!11 OMG AS IT TURNS OUT DUALNG PIANOS SI CODE FOR THAR3 R TWO PIANOS ON TEH STAEG AND TWO GUYS PLAY 2GETH3R WHIEL SNGNG AL DIFERENT SONGS AND TAKNG R3QUESTS!!!11! OMG WTF IN OTH3R WORDS THEIR WAS NO REAL DU3LNG AT AL!!1!!!!11 WTF LOL IT WAS STIL FUN THOUGH!!1!1!1! WTF LOL WE ANJOYED OURSELVAS
A!1!!!1!! OMG LOL COUPLE OF NIGHTS L8R WE ENJOYED AN EVENNG OUT WIT SOME FREINDS WE RILLY LOV3!11111 WTF LOL WA W3NT 2 RAD ROBIN!111!11 WTF IF U R3GISTAR ON3 OF THERE LOYALTY CARDS UR GIEVN A FRE APETIEZR (OF TEH 1 PEOPL3 IN OUR GROUP I THINK 8 OF US HAD LOYALTY CARDS AND ORDERED FRE APETIEZRS)!!!1!1!1 OMG WTF OUR WATERAS WAS FABULOS!1!!!!1 WTF LOL SINCE ELIZAEBTH AND I R CH3AP W3 ONLEY ORDERED APATIEZRS AND AET THEM AS OUR MEAL
THIS!!111 OMG WTF LOL WEK I HAD A BIRTHDAY!1!!11 OMG WTF LOL WE WANT BAK 2 RED ROBIN AND WE BOTH UESD OUR FRE BIRTHDAY BURGER ALSO AVALEABL3 WHEN U REGIST3R A LOYALTY CARD!!!11 OMG LOL SO FOR TEH SACOND TIEM IN 6 DAYS WE GOT 2 3AT AT R3D ROBIN AND PAY ONLEY FOR OUR SERV3RS TIP!1!!!!1!1 IN ADITION ON MAH BIRTHDAY WE HAD FRE BR3AKFAST FROM CHIK-FIL-A (THEYRA OFARNG A FRE BRAAKFAST ENTRE 3V3RY WEDN3SDAY DURNG TEH MONTH OF MARCH)!!!!!! OMG LOL I ALSO UESD A COUPON FROM CARIBOU COFE 2 GET A FRE BIRTHDAY DRINK
WE!!1!1! OMG WTF BASICALY UES OUR BIRTHDAYS AS A WAY 2 EKA OUT EVERY FRE IETM W3 CAN POSIBLEY GET!1!!1 OMG LOL FUN HUH?!??!?!? LOL

25

Today was (is, technically) my birthday. I'm now 25 years old, which is kinda weird.

My wife treated me very well today. We had an AMAZING special breakfast this morning of eggs, biscuits, and gravy (after which SHE did all the clean-up). Then she took me to the bookstore to buy me a puzzle book that I've been desperately wanting (my old puzzle book is pretty much finished... so I needed a new one). Then we got Starbucks -- a special treat for us. After work I checked the mail where I had a letter from Elizabeth that was extremely sweet and touching (thanks, dear!) (I also had a card from my grandfolks... how they manage to make sure stuff gets here on the EXACT day that it should I'll never know). Then we ate at Red Robin with my free birthday burger (if you're not signed up to get a free Red Robin burger on your birthday, you're missing out), and even though I've said it before I'll say it again: Whoever decided that a fried egg should be put on a bacon cheeseburger should be given a raise and a brand new BMW, because it's AMAZING. After Red Robin, Elizabeth had another surprise for me. We went downtown and saw an improv comedy show! There were three different improv groups that performed. The first one was kinda lame, the second one was hilarious, and the third was a little of both. It was a great treat, though. Elizabeth did a great job.

Now we're home and we're tired, but not so tired that we can't watch a West Wing and eat some birthday cake and ice cream (are you EVER too tired for that?)...

Weekend

Easter weekend was quite a rush. We had some friends visiting on Friday afternoon from Arkansas, so we took a tour of the Coors brewery. Then my folks with their four foster boys arrived Friday evening to stay for a couple of nights. Eight people living in a 1-bedroom apartment is kind of interesting, by the way. We had a lot of fun with my family, though. They left early on the morning of Easter, which was also my birthday. It was a good day. Elizabeth and I went to the early service at church, and then made red velvet cake when we got home. We went out and saw The Bucket List in the afternoon, which is a very good flick. I would recommend it to you. It was the first movie we've seen in a theater in almost a year (since we got married last July).

My wife got me a Jason Witten jersey for my birthday, which is super sweet. It's one of the throw-back jerseys the Cowboys only wear on special occasions. She's a sweetheart. I also bought a computer yesterday. It should be arriving in the mail later this week, and I'm excited.

Today is the first weekday of spring break, though it hardly feels like it's gonna be a "break." My wife and I both have tons of schoolwork to do this week, as well as multiple other tasks to take care of -- and I'm still working all week long. We might get out of town a couple of times for a few hours this week, but that's about it.